Ordinary

Somehow lately I feel that I'm so very ordinary. I wonder how I ended up so ordinary? I liked being weird, or am I too weird that I've became so ordinary? I wonder where I go wrong. Did I do something wrong? I like being a Phoebe, it's nice, it's lovely.
I like being able to remember things, even if it's just some useless thing like 'what's the melting point of the brain?'.
How can I feel so ordinary? Well...I joined this community and there I meet people who are very cool. I really like them, and I think they're one of a kind. I feel that this is indeed where I belong, but I don't know where I go wrong that I feel so ordinary and I feel they feel that I'm so ordinary. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's just my feeling. Sometimes I feel that they don't really feel that I belong there. Am I too quiet? Am I really that ordinary? Am I really that bland?
I wanna change, because I don't like me being like this. Where did I get these phobias? Or is it really phobias? Is it just me being scaredy cat? I need to change.
I guess I always hopes, I always wishes. Have I got my wishes? Am I just too greedy? I wonder...