Dream

What is your dream?

My dream is to work in the hospital. Ever since I step foot in the hospital when I was a child, I always like the hospital. I like the smell of the hospital. I like the temperature of the hospital. Unfortunately I can't be a doctor or a nurse. I will settle as the nutritionist staff. I like nutrition, I know I can learn it well. We'll have to see about this dream if it were to come true.
My other dream is to be an author or at least to work in the literature topic. I like to read, I like to write. I sure want to publish at least one of my writings and see how it goes.

Right now I'm kinda jobless, maybe it's a bad thing? Maybe it's a good thing. Either way I have to continue my journey, I have to move on, keep pressing on.
I want to be my own boss. Bosses could be self-centered, they could be even more childish than the children themselves. And when you can't take it, all you can do is to do your best and step away. But when both doesn't work, all you can do is pray, to get the best decision you can choose.

Right now I can only learn from the mistakes and try to do better the next time. Try to do the best, and keep on moving forward.

I will keep on praying that this is indeed the best decision I could make.

Tired

Yesterday probably the peak of me being tired, tired in every way (body, mind and mental). If you asked me why I'm that tired, I would say I'm not sure. I know it has something to do with where I work, it has something to do with my job, but if you ask me what, I wouldn't know. Anyway, I cried yesterday, and ended up with a sore eyes and jaw (cry too much, laugh too much -> I really should work on how to reduce the too much part).
I know my job, I know what I have to do, what I have to deal with. If you ask me about my complaints, I won't say I don't have, probably 1-2 complaints, but the problem is I know why it won't be a valid complaints and that is why I will say that I don't really have a complaint. People do things for reason, my boss have reasons for things he did or done, whichever it is. I have reasons to do what I'm doing, everyone has their own reasons, even if it means that it might be a stupid reason, it might not be a valid reason, but people will try to reason their every act, their every word, their every mind. This is why I think I find the phrase 'you gotta do what you gotta do' is interesting and right.
The only problem with reasons is that sometimes other people won't take a heed of your reasons. They may not be a listening type of person, they might not be a logical nor illogical, in a way they're not you. They're who they are, what they are made of is themselves, their uniqueness. The uniqueness in their mind, that even if you think that you feel the same, you are not. That is why I think the first lesson from my boss is really meaningful. The first lesson I learn…never to reason with anyone, especially your boss.

Anyway….the tiredness I've been feeling really urge me to take a getaway, a meditation course which I will take after I get out of here because it will take more than 1 week to conduct. I think, no matter how tolerant my boss is there's no way he'll allow me to have 2 weeks off to take the course. I really need it and I got the support. That tiredness led me to the decision I make yesterday. I told my boss that I resign. He asked me why, even though I know that he's going to say 'no' plus he asked people to stop me from doing that. But again, what you gotta do, then you gotta do right? I really need it and I think as long as I got the support I might be just fine.
Well, plenty of people said that it's okay to make mistakes and regrets, because if you don't then you won't really learn anything. Well, if that's the case, if I'm not making the right decision I do hope I can learn from this, and never to make this kind of mistakes again. I'll admit that I might regret this, but again…I gotta do this. I do hope it's not the wrong decision.

I will keep on praying, for help, for strength, for the right way. That is why I can only hope that this is right.