Persistent

Persistence is something people will need during their times living in this world. Without persistence people will easily give up, people will die easily. But when you combine persistence with perspective.
Perspective is something tricky. There are almost no same exact perspective. The perspective of one person will differ from other's. For one person who feels accepted when someone greets that person warmly and that person returns it could be seen as other things by others who saw that. When one person tries to talked with other because that person thinks that person doesn't want to disturb those near can be seen as other negatively by those near.
Now when you combine the persistence of trying so hard to be accepted and the perspective of those in the friendship relationship and those observing, it could turn out to be something out of the ordinary, something bad.
Right now I don't want to add more silly stupid thoughts into other's mind. As far as I like being close friend with this person, it is not my goal nor my wish to make the others annoyed because of my closeness. I know I'm not even that close, but when it gave others those thoughts, it's then become something you should try to avoid.
I guess I may like, or fall for, but I'm in no condition or in no way to be involved in that complicated kind of relationship. I like my friends, I really do, and the last thing that I want is for them to be annoy at me. I'd hate that.
I am ranting, with what I have in mind, what I feel. I might not like this, I know. I sometimes wished I could erased my past, those sad times, those dark times, those stupid times, but I also know that I'm learning. There might be things I have to learn the hard way, there might be things someone have to tell it to my face to make me realize it, there might be times where someone have to help me from doing my habit, to break my bad habits. I appreciate them very much. I don't like it to be kept in the dark, I don't like it when I have to guess around. I might be angry, I might be upset, I might be irritated, it might makes me hot, burning inside my chest and face when someone tell me straight up, but that will get me think about things, that will certainly make me more aware of my flaws, and I know to change those flaws I will need help, and for that I will need someone who will not give up on me. I know I can be stubborn at times, I need someone who can point things out for me, so I can break those habits. I know it seems childish, but I do think it is better than me annoying people around me.
I rant too much tonight...