Feelings

These past few days I've been thinking about things. Some things made me down. Some things made me unsure, other things made me go happy, sad, and wishing for an amnesia. Someone told me once in that person's anger, that I'm fat and ugly. I never really thought of myself as being pretty and I'm not thin. Somehow it kinda hurt me, especially if those words come out from the person you're close with. Well, simply saying I guess I've been feeling rather worthless lately. Considering my last post, I guess it has been hard for me to decide things. I'm pretty moody myself, kinda like someone I'm close with. I have a lot of things I want, and honestly I really would like to see them as a reality, but unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to. 2 reasons for that, first one is a simple reason as in age. The second reason is that I think I'm lacking the skill, although I'll never know until I try it. I like staying at home, I like working on my handicrafts, I like meeting people, I like trying to make them smile, I like to see people smiling, I like playing games, I like food, I like a lot of things. All these things made me feel, I'm not in the right job. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm a lazy bum, it's just that I feel that it's not the right one. My heart is not there. Then I think again, where would my heart be. Sometimes considering all those things, negatives and positives, I come to a conclusion that I'm bad, I'm not worth it, I feel low, I feel fat, ugly, evil, and I feel like I'm a nobody. These are my negative, sad thoughts. I'm trying to get back up, although it's kinda hard, but what doesn't kill you supposed to make you stronger right? So I hope by taking these all out, I'll be able to rise again, I'll be stronger next time. New year's resolution? To be prettier, thinner and more successful. Oh and also to make someone's mine. Let's pray it's all going to be true.